SUBMITTING TO GOD / SUBMITTING TO EACH OTHER

Hello Everyone!

I woke up this morning full of the Lord as I relived a Bible study class I taught last night.

I pray that everyone reading this post has a wonderful day and that you aim to ABIDE IN HIM as HE ABIDES IN YOU (John 15:1-8). In abiding, I have all confidence that you will bear much good fruit as you grow to become all that He has called you to be. The Lord has a special purpose and plan for each of us, but we must diligently seek Him in order to follow His perfect path for our lives. His Word (the Bible) is a book of secrets that He has hidden from the world. These hidden truths are revealed to us who are in Christ. We must search for them as if we are searching for a buried treasure.

The following points are from last night's study...

1) You were created by God for a very specific and unique purpose. Are you seeking to know what it is?

2) In order to follow God, we must learn to embrace seasons of change. God wants to do something "new" in us and through us as we allow Him to mold us and shape us into who He created us to be. Are you stuck in status quo or are you willing to free fall in your faith in order to walk on the water with the Lord?

3) God's blessings will overflow when we are "submissive" to His plans. Are you submissive to God's Word? Are you submissive to your spouse? Wives submit to your husband's lead. Husband's submit to your wife's need.

4) God's will is for us to be in covenant with Him. He says that He will provide for us, protect us, guide us, deliver us, prosper us, etc.... "if" we will obey His commands (or stay in relationship with Him). He wants to be intimate with each of us. He is always speaking. Can you hear Him?

5) Satan is seeking whom he may devour. Our godly heritage can only be obtained through warfare. The Lord has already given us the victory, but we must fight the good fight of faith in order to claim it. In marriage, you never give up. Remember: The battle is NOT between you and your spouse. The battle is between you and the devil (principalities, powers, spiritual wickedness in high places, and rulers of the darkness - Ephesians 6:10-18). Keep things in perspective. God is "for" your marriage! ... AND - The Lord will GROW YOU UP and do a work in your life as you STAND in faith during difficult times. Remember: It's not always only about the other person.

6) We should prayerfully put the armour of God on everyday. Think about the meaning of that.

7) Get your home in order and keep it that way... GOD - JESUS - MAN - WOMAN - (THE CHILDREN COME UNDER THE MAN & WIFE WORKING TOGETHER). Women should never put their children above their husband. Women should never go against their husband in front of the children. Husbands should love their wives in such as way that the wife is kept without spot, blemish or wrinkle. Her countenance will always be beautiful because her husband has given her the security and love that she needs to keep from becoming bitter, angry, depressed, sarcastic, or resentful. The wife should also REVERENCE her husband. (Reverence: Notice him; regard him; honors him; prefers him; esteems him; praises him; loves and admires him exceedingly; puts him first under her relationship with the Lord). - See: 1 Corinthians 11:3 and Ephesians 5:21-33

8) Pointing fingers doesn't solve anything. We must do our part (what God has told us to do) and then trust Him for the results. Getting your house in order may take some time, so be patient as you obey the Lord - precept upon precept. And remember... SOMEONE MUST GO FIRST! Which one of you will be the first to "do" the right thing (the thing God has told you to do) in your marriage?

9) 1 Peter 3:1-14 (Subjection: under the power of; owing allegiance to another; not independent; liable) - Wives be in subjection to your OWN husbands. Not because they deserve it. Not because they have got it all together. Do it because that is what the Lord has commanded you to do. God will work out all of the details. Just do your part. Wives should be more concerned about their inward beauty than their outward beauty. Husbands need to honor their wife as the weaker vessel. Men, when you do this, God will give you grace to cover your mistakes and ANSWER YOUR PRAYERS. Both wife and husband should seek peace in their home because God rewards the peacemakers. But, and when, you suffer in your marriage for a season due to your mates sin(s), know that the Lord will reward you in His time.

10) Getting to the root of something can be painful but it is the only way to bring healing. The TRUTH gets to the root. People are complex creatures. We lie to ourselves and create excuses (strongholds) that hinder us from growing in Christ. If we want to receive the fullness of God's blessings AND if we want to be an effective witness for His Kingdom, we must be willing to lay down our agenda's, our traditions, our preconceived ideas, etc. to embrace God's "standard". We will talk more about this next week as we discuss BREAKING GENERATIONAL CURSES AND PULLING DOWN STRONG HOLDS. Don't miss it!

Below is the scripture reference outline for this study...

Jeremiah 33:3

John 15:1-8
Isaiah 54 - The Heritage of the Lord for Christians & Christian Families

Spiritual Warfare / Armor of God / Praying Effectively

1 Peter 5:8-9
John 10:10
Ephesians 6:11-18
2 Corinthians 10:3-6

James 4:1-8

JAMES 1:6-8

Get Your Family in Order / Get Your Life in Order
1 CORINTHIANS 11:3
FAMILY ORDER… GOD, JESUS, MAN, WOMAN
Children come under it all. Never put your children before your mate.
(ORDER OF LIFE – God, Family, Business or Ministry)

Ephesians 5:21-33

Godly Relationships in Marriage

1 Peter 3
~~~~~~~~~~~
My prayer is that you will have an encounter with the Lord this week that brings a deeper understanding to the things we've discussed in our studies, so far.

In Christ,
Deborah Ross
http://www.deborahrossministries.org/

Some of my blog posts below you may be interested in reading...
http://deborahrossministries.blogspot.com/2009/06/how-to-be-forgiven-born-again-john-33.html
http://deborahrossministries.blogspot.com/2009/04/dont-overlook-meaning-of-salvation.html
http://deborahrossministries.blogspot.com/2009/05/forgiving-ourselves-from-sins-of-past-1.html

WHAT MEN NEED / WHAT WOMEN NEED... in marriage

Me and my hubby!

 Below are some notes from a Co-Ed Marriage Bible Study that I taught last night.  Enjoy!

Saying "I love you" needs to be in actions and not just words if you want a healthy marriage that lasts a lifetime. (commitment, compassion, selflessness, Christ-centered approach, listening to one another, admiration for one another, respect for one another, and security... to name a few)



*Pray OUT LOUD together. A good starting point, for those who are not yet comfortable in praying out loud, is to read the marriage prayer (at the bottom of this page) to one another each night before bed. Grow from there.

*John 10:10 - The devil hates you, your marriage, your relationship with God, your children, your future, etc. He is on the prowl... seeking who he can devour. Guard your heart. Guard your marriage. Keep your eyes on the Lord because He loves everything about you and enjoys blessing you!

*Matthew 19:1-11 & Malachi 2:16 - God hates divorce. It is not His will. To have a healthy marriage that lasts a lifetime, take divorce out of your vocabulary. It is not an option.

#1 NEED...
*Men want respect.
*Women want security.

Proverbs for Women... What your husband needs...
19:13,25:24, 27:15-16, 21:19 (The Lord wants us to stop nagging and start praying. Husbands don't respond to nagging very well.)
4:23-25 (He needs a woman who has a clean heart, speaks kind words and whose eyes are always on him... not some movie star or some other man of influence.)
5:19 (He needs her to satisfy him with her love... in the bedroom)
11:22 (He needs her to be beautiful & discreet.)
12:4 (He needs her to be virtuous... morally excellent.)
12:18 (He needs her to SPEAK LIFE to him.) - Both men, women, and children need this!
14:1 (He needs her to build up the home with cleanliness, beauty and LOVE.)
15:1 (He needs her to be soft.)
19:14 (He needs a prudent wife... cautious in managing one's activities / exercising good judgement.)
Study Proverbs 31:10-31 (He needs a wife who has all of these qualities.)

Proverbs for Men... What your wife needs...
15:5-7 (She needs a man who seeks godly wisdom, knowledge and understanding. She needs a man who puts God first in all things.)
13:4 & 19:15 (She needs a man who is willing to work to support his family.)
16:32 (She needs a man who can control his temper. NEVER HIT ONE ANOTHER!)
17:8 & 18:16 (She needs to know she is special.)
19:17 & 28:27 (She needs a generous man.)
25:19 (She needs security in a faithful man.)
28:13 (She needs a man who is honest.)
28:22 (She needs a man who does NOT gamble with their livelihood.)
29:18 (She needs a man with a VISION for their family.) What a great way to start a new year... write the vision down, discuss it, and pray over it.
29:23 & 16:18 (She needs a humble man.)
Study Song of Solomon (She needs ROMANCE.) Read Song of Solomon out loud to your wife before bed and experience God's ROMANCE in your marriage! Song of Solomon is a heated love story! Date nights are a MUST! Make time to be with your wife each week, ALONE, if at all possible. Keep your marriage ALIVE by "thinking" of ways to date your wife.

Proverbs for Both...What Both Men & Women Need...
*6:23-235 (Adultery destroys your own soul. Jealousy from a betrayed spouse is violent. Don't think you can handle a tempting situations (and we are all tempted at some point), RUN THE OTHER WAY... guard your heart.
*5:15 (In the end, adultery will cause you to say, "Why did I hate instruction? How could I be so stupid?"
*7 (Both men and women need purity of mind, heart and actions. Pornography kills a marriage. Adultery kills a marriage.)
*22:14
*23:27
*119:11
*Matthew 5:27-32 (Don't even look at someone else with lust... pornography is lust. Divorce is permitted in the case of adultery BUT it is not God's best. Forgiveness and reconciliation are always God's best. Abuse (physical) may mean drastic measures should be taken such as separation, but not necessarily divorce. Verbal abuse is NOT grounds for divorce.  Get Christian counseling immediately. Protecting the children from harm is ALWAYS A PRIORITY.)

*****Note: All of the Proverbs are written for both men and women. I have broken them down in this study for the sake of helping couples to meet the needs of each other.

Ladies remember: Your husband is NOT your source. God is your source. Your husband is only the channel by which the Lord will supply your need. However, if you husband is unwilling or unable to be that channel for God to use, He is more than capable and WILLING to supply your need in another way.

Revelation 12:11 - Let go of your life. Give it to God. He loves you more than you know and will show Himself strong on your behalf.

Nagging, Hating, Giving Up, Striving, Hitting, Cursing, Drinking, Lying, etc. are NOT characteristics of one who has given their life over to the Lord. A person who does these things "loves" their own life too much. As Christians, we must be willing to lay our life down for the sake of others.

Genesis 2:20-25 - The woman was made for the man. She is to be his help meet (face to face helper / intimate helper / passionate helper / honest helper). She was taken out of man's side (his rib) and therefore longs to be at his side and under his strong arm. Man is to leave his father and mother (stop being a mommy's boy) to cleave (remain faithful to / penetrate) his wife. They will become ONE FLESH through consummation and the holy marriage vows. They are to be naked and unashamed or COMPLETELY HONEST with one another and with God.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marriage Prayer for Men / Copyright 2007 Deborah Ross


Dear God:

Help me to understand that I cannot change my wife.

I can only change me! Help me to have faith knowing that YOU CAN CHANGE MY WIFE.

Lord, help me to be more like you toward my wife, so that your love will convince her of your presence, your power, your kingdom principles, and your authority in our marriage. Help me to love her like Christ loves the church and how He gave His life for it (Ephesians 5:25). Help me to never be bitter against her (Colossians 3:19).

May she be won unto salvation by my faithfulness in reading, honoring, and understanding your Word and by my example as a Man of God before her eyes. May she grow in Christ to become “ALL” that you have called her to become.

Lord, you ordained families and set them in order according to your wisdom. Empower me to be the head of my household in a godly manner (1 Corinthians 11:3). Teach me to give honor to my wife as the weaker vessel so that we may be heirs together of the grace of life; and so that my prayers would not be hindered (1 Peter 3:7).

I will not forsake the truth, but I will always apply the truth in a loving way so that your glory shines through my convictions.

Help me to love my wife at all times, even when I feel she doesn’t deserve my love. Help me to be in tune with my wife's need for security, conversation and romance.

I pray that the blood of Jesus will cover my marriage and cause our family to flourish as an example to the world.

In Jesus Name,
AMEN

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marriage Prayer for Women / Copyright 2007 Deborah Ross


Dear God:

Help me to understand that I cannot change my husband.

I can only change me! Help me to have faith knowing that YOU CAN CHANGE MY HUSBAND.

Lord, help me to be more like you toward my husband, so that your love will convince him of your presence, your power, your kingdom principles, and your authority in our marriage. Help me to do him good and not evil all the days of my life. I pray his heart will trust in me. (Proverbs 31:11 & 12)

May he be won unto salvation by my meekness in Christ Jesus. May he grow in Christ to become “ALL” that you have called him to become.

Lord, you ordained families and set them in order according to your wisdom. Empower me to be a “help meet” (Genesis 2:18). Teach me to compliment my husband and offer daily assistance toward my husband’s dreams, goals, desires, and plans. Help me to be at peace under my husband’s rightful place as head of our household. I know that YOU will take care of me, as I “do my part” by giving honor to my husband (even while he is a sinner or I disagree with his choices).

I will not forsake the truth, but I will always apply the truth in a loving way so that your glory shines through my convictions.

Help me to love my husband at all times, even when I feel that he doesn’t deserve my love. Help me to be intimate with my husband.

I pray that the blood of Jesus will cover my marriage and cause our family to flourish as an example to the world.

In Jesus Name,
AMEN

MARRIAGE BIBLE STUDY NOTES

SAVE IT! BIBLE STUDIES

Save Your Marriage - Save Your Family
- free materials -
(revised 2011)

I am looking for some special Remnant Leaders from across the nation and around the world - who are on fire for Jesus - that would like to HOST a SAVE IT! BIBLE STUDY in their home or church.

Perhaps YOU have a desire to host a Bible study class, but you just aren't sure what materials to use; or, perhaps, you aren't sure if you have what it takes to lead a class. I want to make it easy for you by offering to send you FREE materials that will guide you into a successful study time with your friends. 

Leaders who contact DRM about hosting a SAVE IT! BIBLE STUDY from now through the end of the year - 2011, will receive the following materials for FREE... (a $100.00 value)

* 1-DVD of Faith, Forgiveness, Future

* 1 - Double CD teaching of Root Digger, Not a Rug Sweeper

* 1 - Bound Copy of the Teachers Outline Notes (10-12 Sessions)

* 2 - Music CD's

* 20 - DRM Business Cards

* 1 - Book - Healing a Broken Marriage

Here's how it works...

Have your friends to purchase their personal copy of Healing a Broken Marriage to use as their take home study manual.  You can order at http://www.healingabrokenmarriage.com/, call the publisher at 1-800-283-8494, go through your local bookstore or contact this ministry to buy in bulk or buy individual copies.  The ISBN # is 978-1-61638-169-1. 

Gather your friends together for meetings once per week for a one-and-a-half hour Bible study session.  Your classes can be Co-Ed or gender preference. 

YOU will lead the class using the outline provided. YOU will have EVERYTHING you need (notes, music, Cd's, DVD's, more) to lead an anointed Bible Study Group on Marriage / Forgiveness / Breaking Generational Curses / and more.

To get your FREE materials simply Email Me...

(Be sure to SPECIFY that you are requesting the FREE Bible study package in your email.)

When you write to me, I WILL NEED THE FOLLOWING before sending your materials out...

YOUR FIRST AND LAST NAME

YOUR MAILING ADDRESS & ZIP (postal) CODE
AREA CODE AND PHONE NUMBER (land line)
AREA CODE AND PHONE NUMBER (mobile)
YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS
HOW MANY MEN/WOMEN YOU EXPECT TO ATTEND YOUR MEETINGS (estimated)
DATES (start date and end date for your sessions - if you know them)
WHAT CHURCH YOU ATTEND / YOUR PASTOR
CHURCH OR ORGANIZATION WEB-SITE (if you have one)
WHERE YOU PLAN TO DO THIS STUDY (Your Church, Your Home, or Name of Another Place)
YOUR BRIEF TESTIMONY (500 words or less)

****Note: Only applicants that supply ALL of the information above will qualify to receive the FREE MATERIALS.

___________________________

What DRM would like - in return...

* For people to come to Christ.

* For marriages to be saved and families to be healed/restored.
* Name, Email, and Mailing Address (Plus Zip Code) of each person who attends your classes - if possible.
* We ask you to promote our upcoming Keepin' It Real Conferences - TBA.
* We ask that you report back to us on your progress and success (first lesson - mid way - last lesson) via email. We would like to get a report of how many come to Christ, how many marriages are saved, how many are delivered from addictions, etc.  We love to get testimonies that can be used on our web-site, too.
* A love offering made to DRM from your group is greatly appreciated and keeps this ministry going.

That's It!

____________________________

For the GRAND FINALE...

KEEPIN' IT REAL CONFERENCE

KEEPIN' IT REAL CONFERENCE'S (TBA) will be held in Charlotte, N.C. You and your group are invited to attend! This will be a weekend retreat of worship, Bible teaching, testimony, prayer, and LOT'S OF ENCOURAGEMENT. I will serve as the key-note speaker/teacher along with several other Remnant Speakers from my team of dynamic leaders.

I am looking forward to hearing from you!!!

Blessings In Christ,

Deborah Ross

Deborah Ross Ministries

Strengthening Families & Encouraging Women

www.DeborahRossMinistries.org

Submitting One to Another

...Kingdom Keys to a Happy Marriage...

Within the walls of every society lies a mix of ATTITUDES, OPINIONS, and PHILOSOPHIES that stain the souls of stubborn mankind; seeking to maintain peaceful relationships through a warped view of God and human nature. Left unchecked, a worldly demeanor cultivates hard hearts and robotic lifestyles, leaving no room for the Kingdom of God to be revealed.

Have you ever noticed that principles in God's Kingdom function the complete opposite of what culture and society teach? For instance, God says: to give and you will receive; to humble yourself and you will be exalted; to lay your life down and you will live; to submit to one another that you should inherit a blessing!

The term "submission" can be such a foreign concept. Whether viewed as a sign of weakness or as outdated protocol, many Christians will refuse to adopt a lifestyle of "submitting one to another" - especially in marriage. Tragically, all too often our words and our actions don't match up, when it comes to practicing life application skills of God's Kingdom principles.

1 Peter 3:1 says, "...wives, be in subjection to your own husbands." The word subjection actually means: to obey; to submit to one's control; and, to yield to one's admonition or advice. It is a voluntary attitude of "giving in". Are you in the habit of cooperating with the plans, ideas, and advice of your mate? Do you practice submitting?

Perhaps you are thinking, "My husband doesn't deserve my submission. He is too demanding. Besides, he's not even a Christian. I could never give in to his immature ideas." Peter tells us that as we worship God with a servants heart toward our mate, we present the gospel of Jesus Christ by our actions. He goes on to say that God places great value on a meek and quiet spirit. My friend, if the Lord calls something precious, then, we need to heed the importance of practicing Kingdom principles - whether we agree with our circumstances or not. Ladies, you can actually change the mood of your husband simply by making room for him to be the head of the household... even before he realizes his position!

Of course, Peter goes on to say in verse 7, "...husbands, dwell with them (wives) according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife..." Ideally, men and women should submit to each other. There should be a mutual submission, one to another. When couples live according to this principle, the Word of God says that your prayers as a married couple will not be hindered. This is your goal!

The problem that I find in ministering this concept to most married individuals, is that, usually one person "gets it" and the other person does not. So then, the same argument continues between them that she won't submit and he doesn't give her honor. Nothing can ever be accomplished until somebody gives in and - GOES FIRST!

God's ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts (Isaiah 55:9). While it doesn't make any sense - in our minds - to give in to a situation that seems unfair, the Lord assures us, "...and if you suffer for righteousness' sake, happy are ye... (1 Peter 3:14)." Jesus himself suffered unjustly so that He might bring us to God (vs. 18), so we, also, should learn to have the same mind set as Christ to the will of God (1 Peter 4:1-2).

I know, some of you are thinking, "Yuk, I will never let anyone run over me! Submitting sounds like I must put up with abuse." Submitting does not mean that someone should be able to take advantage of you. On the contrary, they cannot take advantage of you, because you willingly offer a peaceable solution to every situation. In reality, you have the upper hand, because you have brought about the Kingdom of God in the midst of their rebellion. This is where the Lord steps in, shows up, and does miracles!

I remember the Lord teaching me to submit to my husband years ago. At that time, he was lost, immature, self-centered, and irresponsible. I thought, "God, you must be kidding! How can I submit to my husband when I know he will make a mess of things?" Still, the Lord confirmed in my heart that I was to submit to my husband and that He would be faithful to take care of our family, even when my husband made mistakes or poor choices (vs. 4:19). Did everything go smoothly? No, not at all, but in the long run... we were never ashamed! You see, in order for my husband to rise to his rightful position as head of our household, I had to step out in faith and act according to Kingdom principles before there was any return on my investment.

Today, my husband is the born-again, spirit-filled, leader of our home that I had always hoped for. We now mutually practice submitting one to the other and we see God answering our prayers as a family - on a daily basis. Things that were once considered overwhelming obstacles to us are now merely opportunities for us to call upon the Lord - together - for help.

Remember: "That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perishith, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:" - 1 Peter 1:7. So while submission may oftentimes seem to be a "trial of your faith", remember this is exactly what pleases God.

Think of it in terms of a little child submitting to their parents. We too, need to submit one to another to bring peace, love, and joy into our homes, as the Kingdom of God takes up residence in our lives.So get started! Stop fretting over your outward appearance and start grooming the inward parts (1 Peter 3:3-4). For it's the sweet, submissive holiness of a God-fearing woman that has the power to bring a man to his knees in worship to the King of Kings.Blessings In Christ!

Deborah Ross

Deborah Ross Ministries

Strengthening Families & Encouraging Women

http://www.deborahrossministries.org/

Marriage or Divorce?

Dealing with Unfaithfulness

Dear Beautiful Women of God:

I get emails and phone calls all the time from those suffering in marital hardships who are looking for hope in their situation - which seems to be so bleak. The question below is one that I received by email and I'd like to share it with all of you as a Remnant Woman writes the following...

Question:

How do you stand for a marriage when your husband just uses you and cares nothing about you? Especially when you show them unconditional love and they know you are standing so they use that to their advantage. What kind of self respect can you have for yourself to allow yourself to be used like that? Especially when your husband is sleeping with other people and telling them lies about you? Wouldn't God want you to be free to move on and live a new life? My husband isn't sorry for what he has done.

My Reply:

My heart breaks for you. I know, it is very difficult to live day to day with a broken heart that bleeds because of betrayal from their spouse.I will offer you this one Biblical escape from your torment, but I must also add that this is not necessarily God's best.

In Matthew 19 Jesus tells the Pharisees that divorce is permitted in the case of adultery, but, He also adds that divorce is permitted because of the "hardness of our hearts".

Even if you divorce your husband, you must still forgive him... I mean truly forgive him. Remember, God sees the heart. While others may not know the bitterness that can be in a person's heart for many years or even a lifetime after divorce, God see it all. It is my conclusion - as one who has overcome marital adversity - that if I must forgive my husband, I'd rather fight for his salvation, aiming to win the whole prize (our marriage, his salvation, and my clean heart) than to face the arduous task of trying to truly forgive after a bitter divorce.

It is my belief that God will use us as vessels of Himself as we stand in the gap for those that are lost and living in darkness. Your husband is obviously lost and living in darkness. While it is very painful to love someone who is unlovable, we are also told that learning to love our enemies is what makes us more like Christ (Matthew 5:44, Luke 6:27, Luke 6:35).

As in 1 Corinthians 13:8, I believe that "Love Never Fails". As you pray for your husband, speak the truth to your husband (not in a nagging way), live as an example of Christ before your husband's eyes, and forgive your husband, God will soften your husband's heart as you create fertile ground for your miracle. It is not a quick fix. You will need to ask yourself many times over if you can withstand the challenge of this spiritual warfare, knowing that the devil will not back down easily.As you ask the Holy Spirit for His daily guidance and protection, while placing yourself in the strong hand of God, He will take care of you, guiding you step by step through the process of this dark valley. God is all-knowing and all-powerful. He knows exactly what it will take for your husband to surrender and repent of his sins. God will use you as a vessel of light as you completely surrender to His pathway to wholeness for your family. Most importantly, you'll need to trust that your faith in God's Word will bring forth the promise of a restored marriage with a born-again husband.

Many people come to the conclusion that someone will never change and so they give up the fight. I like to say, "How long would you believe for the salvation of your child? How long would you commit to being the parent of your child, if they were in rebellion and sinning against you? Is your husband any more disposable than your child?"

God does not want any to perish. He wants everyone to become a born-again Child of God. God does not want any marriage to end in divorce. He wants all families to remain whole. Knowing this, you can pray with confidence, knowing that God is on your side. The waiting and the suffering is not fun, but it is what every Christian goes through at some point or another, in some area of their faith.

Romans 5:1-5"Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us."

When we suffer for righteousness sake, God works out things in our own lives that perhaps we didn't even know needed attention. He molds us and shapes us to be more like Himself as we surrender our will, to His. Though our surrender may be extremely painful for a season, we don't do it as one who has no hope. Instead, we do it knowing that God is faithful and He will not make us ashamed in the end.We cannot change our husbands, but God can... and He wants to.

I want to encourage you to pray the Marriage Prayer daily. Also, I currently have my audio message of Faith, Forgiveness, Future posted on THIS web-site that you can freely listen to for encouragement - right from your computer. My teaching series of Root Digger, Not a Rug Sweeper is another valuable tool of encouragement that will help you during this season of pain. Finally, I have a new book, that will be released soon, entitled Healing a Broken Marriage / Love Never Fails and I am taking pre-orders now for $16.99 (includes shipping in the USA).

Again, you are ultimately the only one who can decide how to handle your situation. Divorce is permitted... but, it is not necessarily the best way. Ask the Lord to show you what to do - day by day - and He will.

He loves you AND He loves your husband. He wants each of you born-again and set free from the bondage of sin.

Deborah Ross
Deborah Ross Ministries
Strengthening Families & Encouraging Women
http://www.deborahrossministries.org/

HOW TO USE THE BIBLE STUDY

Hello:

The Bible study notes posted for August 2009 are labeled as Bible study - (A). All blog posts for August 2009 work together to make up one study course. For best results, print off all of the notes (including: 1 -A; 2 -A; 3 -A; 4 -A; 5 -A;6 -A; 7-A; and the Marriage Prayer).

Start your study with lesson 1 - A, found at the bottom of the August 2009 entries.

For those of you that are doing the Bible study by yourself, be sure to listen to the audio recording of Faith, Forgiveness, Future before starting this course. The link to this message is located on the right side of this blog page. For best results, allow yourself 50-60 minutes of solitude, so that the Holy Spirit can speak to your heart and mind through the words of my testimony. I believe you'll be encouraged.

I am praying that these notes will help you fight the good fight of faith in believing God for your marriage to be made whole.

Whether you are happily married and looking for something to enhance your relationship with your spouse, or in a troubled marriage that seems to be hopeless, this study is designed to help you grow in your spiritual walk with the Lord, gaining insight on how to be the mate that God has called you to be... for such a time as this.

Below are some links to articles on my Deborah Ross Ministries blog that pertain to marriage. I think these posts will be an additional encouragement to you.

Dealing with Unfaithfulness

http://deborahrossministries.blogspot.com/2009_07_01_archive.html

Forgiveness

http://deborahrossministries.blogspot.com/2009_05_01_archive.html

More Marriage Bible Study Notes / Removing the Beam to Deal with the Dust

http://deborahrossministries.blogspot.com/2009_03_01_archive.html

In Christ,
Deborah Ross

Deborah Ross Ministries


Strengthening Families & Encouraging Women


http://www.deborahrossministries.org/

MARRIAGE BIBLE STUDY NOTES - 7A

REMNANT WOMEN BIBLE STUDY
By Deborah Ross – Sept 2007 – http://www.deborahrossministries.org/

“INTIMACY. Do you have Strong Holds,
Cold Love, OR Passionate Nudity?”

****Turn OFF Cell Phones!
1) Praise & Worship
2) Prayer
3) Have each woman introduce herself and tell what she considers to be a romantic evening.
4) READ – MARRIAGE PRAYER together
5) If this study has been a blessing to you, take up a love offering for DRM and The Remnant Women Ministries. Thank you for your prayer and support!

QUESTION: When your husband walks in the door from work do you…
1) Stop what you are doing. Then, give him a big hug and kiss and tell him you missed him!
2) Keep doing what you are doing and hope he comes to you with a big hug and kiss.
3) You do nothing. You expect nothing. He’s home. Now let’s do life.
4) You start giving him a list of things he needs to do. Or, you give him the bad report of bills overdue and the kids disobeying. You announce you are about to scream from the stress of the day.

INTIMACY with your husband starts with your WORDS!

Leader Reads: PROVERBS 18:19

Leader Reads: JAMES 3:1-12 (bridle your tongue)

“Little” critical words lead to WALLS (strong holds) in your mates mind. These “little” critical words also lead to WALLS (cold love) in your mate’s heart. This behavior repeated over time, is what leads to divorce. BE INTENTIONAL ABOUT USING KIND WORDS! Your words set the stage for EVERYTHING else that goes on in your marriage.

Leader Reads: GENESIS 2:21-25
*Woman’s position is at her man’s side.
*The wife is bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh.
*The two are ONE FLESH.
*They are not ashamed to be naked (spiritually and physically) before each other.

More than anything else, your man desires for YOU to be sexually fulfilled. A man shows love through his sexuality.

Leader Reads: PROVERBS 5:15-20
*Cistern = reservoir, tank, container for storing or holding water / used in anatomy = a reservoir or receptacle of some natural fluid of the body

VS 16 – seems to be a sarcastic question or a sarcastic remark / The amplified Bible says: “Should your offspring be dispersed abroad as water brooks in the streets?”

VS 17 & 18 – seems to point toward men being responsible to raise their OWN CHILDREN – While God loves blended families and orphans (because He loves PEOPLE), this is not God’s PERFECT WILL. “Men” and “Women” should be responsible with their sexual desires and keep their intimacy with the “WIFE OF THEIR YOUTH”. This would also apply to the woman as keeping her desires toward the “HUSBAND OF HER YOUTH”. We are instructed to be “blessed with fidelity”.

VS 19 – “Loving Hind and Pleasant Roe” = amplified says (tender, gentle, attraction) – Let your breasts satisfy your husband, always. Ravish your love upon your husband.

VS 20 – amplified says = “Why should you, my son, be infatuated with a loose woman, embrace the bosom of another, and go astray?”

Lesson = Wives have a “responsibility” to keep their husbands from being tempted to sin (sexually). This is accomplished by being INTENTIONAL about being the one that SATISFIES his sexual thirst. Verses 21-23 speak of the consequences of men (or women) sinning sexually. While each person has their own responsibility to be obedient to the commands of the Lord (thou shalt not commit adultery), we should also be mindful of the innate drive that causes humans to desire physical contact. Just as we would not cause our brother to stumble with alcohol, we should not cause our husbands to stumble through sexual temptation.

Leader Reads: SONG OF SOLOMON 4:9-16
SISTER = SPOUSE / blood bond by God’s Covenant
Do you think of yourself as a “special garden” for your husband to eat pleasant fruits from?
Or, do you think of sex as a chore?

VS 16 – paraphrased amplified says = You have called me a garden. I pray the winds blow upon my garden so my spices flow out in abundance for you, whom my soul delights. Let my beloved come to his garden to eat its choicest fruits.

Leader Reads: SONG OF SOLOMON 8:6-7
Love is powerful. Agape love is unstoppable. Do you have a passionate, powerful, unstoppable love for your husband? If not, how should you pray to get back that “loving feeling” toward your mate?

Leader Reads: 1 CORINTHIANS 7:2-5
BENEVOLENCE = act of kindness; desire to do good to others; a gift given out of generosity (love making?)
*VS 4 = Your bodies are not your own.
*VS 5 = key word is “consent” = you both should AGREE if you abstain from love making for a short time to fast and pray / Don’t allow Satan to come between you because of lack of intimacy or because of COLD LOVE.
*INCONTINENCY = unable to restrain natural discharges; lack of moderation or control

*****In case we need to discuss this….FYI - (In verse 6 and verse 12, Paul says he is speaking this from his own opinion and not as the words of Jesus. Paul is giving sound advice for one to live in PEACE and not in torment or anxiety. This is why Paul says to let the unbelieving spouse go if they leave you because of your faith. VS 10-16)

Leader Reads: HEBREWS 13:4 (marriage bed undefiled)
*amplified bible = “Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear) in ALL things. And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled (kept undishonored); for God will judge and punish the unchaste (all guilty of sexual vice) and adulterous.”
*UNDEFILED = not made dirty; free of stain or blemish

Have you ever prayed OVER YOUR HUSBAND while anointing him with oil?

Consider praying Ephesians 6:14-17 over your husband while anointing each part of his body that you are speaking of.

The Lord desires that we intimately commune with Him as the bride of Christ. Our communion with our husbands during our love making is a natural picture of what God desire’s spiritually from each of us.
_______________________________________________________

Once you have completed this entire Bible study, ask youself the following questions below...

1) Do I need to get out of the way to allow my husband to be the head of our household?

2) Am I acting as the HEAD of our household?

3) Do I need to stop being my husband’s MOTHER / SPIRITUAL LEADER and turn him over to God to make him stand alone in his faith?

4) Is my husband LOST, SAVED or AN IMPOSTOR?

5) Am I LOST, SAVED, or AN IMPOSTOR?

6) What generational curses need to be broken in my blood line? My husbands?

7) What strong holds need to be pulled down in MY MIND so that the PURE power of God’s Word can work in my life?

8) Am I willing to lay my life down for the sake of my husband? My children?

9) What has challenged me the most through-out this Bible study

Be sure to write me and let me know how this study has ministered to you or your group.

With Love in Christ Jesus,
Deborah

Deborah Ross Ministries
P.O. Box 2186, Indian Trail, NC 28079
http://www.deborahrossministries.org/
http://www.deborahrossministries.blogspot.com/