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| Me and my hubby! |
Saying "I love you" needs to be in actions and not just words if you want a healthy marriage that lasts a lifetime. (commitment, compassion, selflessness, Christ-centered approach, listening to one another, admiration for one another, respect for one another, and security... to name a few)
*Pray OUT LOUD together. A good starting point, for those who are not yet comfortable in praying out loud, is to read the marriage prayer (at the bottom of this page) to one another each night before bed. Grow from there.
*John 10:10 - The devil hates you, your marriage, your relationship with God, your children, your future, etc. He is on the prowl... seeking who he can devour. Guard your heart. Guard your marriage. Keep your eyes on the Lord because He loves everything about you and enjoys blessing you!
*Matthew 19:1-11 & Malachi 2:16 - God hates divorce. It is not His will. To have a healthy marriage that lasts a lifetime, take divorce out of your vocabulary. It is not an option.
#1 NEED...
*Men want respect.
*Women want security.
Proverbs for Women... What your husband needs...
19:13,25:24, 27:15-16, 21:19 (The Lord wants us to stop nagging and start praying. Husbands don't respond to nagging very well.)
4:23-25 (He needs a woman who has a clean heart, speaks kind words and whose eyes are always on him... not some movie star or some other man of influence.)
5:19 (He needs her to satisfy him with her love... in the bedroom)
11:22 (He needs her to be beautiful & discreet.)
12:4 (He needs her to be virtuous... morally excellent.)
12:18 (He needs her to SPEAK LIFE to him.) - Both men, women, and children need this!
14:1 (He needs her to build up the home with cleanliness, beauty and LOVE.)
15:1 (He needs her to be soft.)
19:14 (He needs a prudent wife... cautious in managing one's activities / exercising good judgement.)
Study Proverbs 31:10-31 (He needs a wife who has all of these qualities.)
Proverbs for Men... What your wife needs...
15:5-7 (She needs a man who seeks godly wisdom, knowledge and understanding. She needs a man who puts God first in all things.)
13:4 & 19:15 (She needs a man who is willing to work to support his family.)
16:32 (She needs a man who can control his temper. NEVER HIT ONE ANOTHER!)
17:8 & 18:16 (She needs to know she is special.)
19:17 & 28:27 (She needs a generous man.)
25:19 (She needs security in a faithful man.)
28:13 (She needs a man who is honest.)
28:22 (She needs a man who does NOT gamble with their livelihood.)
29:18 (She needs a man with a VISION for their family.) What a great way to start a new year... write the vision down, discuss it, and pray over it.
29:23 & 16:18 (She needs a humble man.)
Study Song of Solomon (She needs ROMANCE.) Read Song of Solomon out loud to your wife before bed and experience God's ROMANCE in your marriage! Song of Solomon is a heated love story! Date nights are a MUST! Make time to be with your wife each week, ALONE, if at all possible. Keep your marriage ALIVE by "thinking" of ways to date your wife.
Proverbs for Both...What Both Men & Women Need...
*6:23-235 (Adultery destroys your own soul. Jealousy from a betrayed spouse is violent. Don't think you can handle a tempting situations (and we are all tempted at some point), RUN THE OTHER WAY... guard your heart.
*5:15 (In the end, adultery will cause you to say, "Why did I hate instruction? How could I be so stupid?"
*7 (Both men and women need purity of mind, heart and actions. Pornography kills a marriage. Adultery kills a marriage.)
*22:14
*23:27
*119:11
*Matthew 5:27-32 (Don't even look at someone else with lust... pornography is lust. Divorce is permitted in the case of adultery BUT it is not God's best. Forgiveness and reconciliation are always God's best. Abuse (physical) may mean drastic measures should be taken such as separation, but not necessarily divorce. Verbal abuse is NOT grounds for divorce. Get Christian counseling immediately. Protecting the children from harm is ALWAYS A PRIORITY.)
*****Note: All of the Proverbs are written for both men and women. I have broken them down in this study for the sake of helping couples to meet the needs of each other.
Ladies remember: Your husband is NOT your source. God is your source. Your husband is only the channel by which the Lord will supply your need. However, if you husband is unwilling or unable to be that channel for God to use, He is more than capable and WILLING to supply your need in another way.
Revelation 12:11 - Let go of your life. Give it to God. He loves you more than you know and will show Himself strong on your behalf.
Nagging, Hating, Giving Up, Striving, Hitting, Cursing, Drinking, Lying, etc. are NOT characteristics of one who has given their life over to the Lord. A person who does these things "loves" their own life too much. As Christians, we must be willing to lay our life down for the sake of others.
Genesis 2:20-25 - The woman was made for the man. She is to be his help meet (face to face helper / intimate helper / passionate helper / honest helper). She was taken out of man's side (his rib) and therefore longs to be at his side and under his strong arm. Man is to leave his father and mother (stop being a mommy's boy) to cleave (remain faithful to / penetrate) his wife. They will become ONE FLESH through consummation and the holy marriage vows. They are to be naked and unashamed or COMPLETELY HONEST with one another and with God.
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Marriage Prayer for Men / Copyright 2007 Deborah Ross
Dear God:
Help me to understand that I cannot change my wife.
I can only change me! Help me to have faith knowing that YOU CAN CHANGE MY WIFE.
Lord, help me to be more like you toward my wife, so that your love will convince her of your presence, your power, your kingdom principles, and your authority in our marriage. Help me to love her like Christ loves the church and how He gave His life for it (Ephesians 5:25). Help me to never be bitter against her (Colossians 3:19).
May she be won unto salvation by my faithfulness in reading, honoring, and understanding your Word and by my example as a Man of God before her eyes. May she grow in Christ to become “ALL” that you have called her to become.
Lord, you ordained families and set them in order according to your wisdom. Empower me to be the head of my household in a godly manner (1 Corinthians 11:3). Teach me to give honor to my wife as the weaker vessel so that we may be heirs together of the grace of life; and so that my prayers would not be hindered (1 Peter 3:7).
I will not forsake the truth, but I will always apply the truth in a loving way so that your glory shines through my convictions.
Help me to love my wife at all times, even when I feel she doesn’t deserve my love. Help me to be in tune with my wife's need for security, conversation and romance.
I pray that the blood of Jesus will cover my marriage and cause our family to flourish as an example to the world.
In Jesus Name,
AMEN
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Marriage Prayer for Women / Copyright 2007 Deborah Ross
Dear God:
Help me to understand that I cannot change my husband.
I can only change me! Help me to have faith knowing that YOU CAN CHANGE MY HUSBAND.
Lord, help me to be more like you toward my husband, so that your love will convince him of your presence, your power, your kingdom principles, and your authority in our marriage. Help me to do him good and not evil all the days of my life. I pray his heart will trust in me. (Proverbs 31:11 & 12)
May he be won unto salvation by my meekness in Christ Jesus. May he grow in Christ to become “ALL” that you have called him to become.
Lord, you ordained families and set them in order according to your wisdom. Empower me to be a “help meet” (Genesis 2:18). Teach me to compliment my husband and offer daily assistance toward my husband’s dreams, goals, desires, and plans. Help me to be at peace under my husband’s rightful place as head of our household. I know that YOU will take care of me, as I “do my part” by giving honor to my husband (even while he is a sinner or I disagree with his choices).
I will not forsake the truth, but I will always apply the truth in a loving way so that your glory shines through my convictions.
Help me to love my husband at all times, even when I feel that he doesn’t deserve my love. Help me to be intimate with my husband.
I pray that the blood of Jesus will cover my marriage and cause our family to flourish as an example to the world.
In Jesus Name,
AMEN
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