By Deborah Ross – 2007 – http://www.deborahrossministries.org/
COLD LOVE / NO LOVE
****Turn OFF cell phones!
1) Praise & Worship Song: "Create in Me a Clean Heart"
2) Prayer - Remember to pray for this ministry!
3) Have each woman introduce herself and tell what it was about her husband that she fell in love with & how she knew she was to marry him.
4) If this study has been a blessing, take up a love offering for DRM and The Remnant Women Ministries.
Leader Reads: Deuteronomy 28:1-15 – Obey God & be blessed!
Leader Reads: Proverbs 8:1-21 – Find God’s Wisdom!
Wisdom is knocking at your door (vs. 1-4);
Wisdom speaks TRUTH (vs. 7);
Wisdom NEVER speaks froward (stubbornly contrary & disobedient) or perverse (vs. 8);
Wisdom is PLAIN to those that WANT TO UNDERSTAND and wisdom is RIGHT to those that find KNOWLEDGE – We must dig in God’s Word for answers (vs. 9);
Wisdom dwells with prudence (caution with regard to practical matters, discretion, regard for one’s own interest, careful management of resources, knowing how to avoid embarrassment, frugality) (vs. 12); Wisdom hates evil, arrogance, pride, and the evil way of doing things – world’s way –
Wisdom hates a bad (froward) mouth (vs. 13); Wisdom is strength (vs. 14);
Wisdom only comes to those that desperately want to get it – God’s Way (vs. 17);
People that love “Wisdom” will inherit substance! (vs. 21) See also Hebrews 11:1
Today we will study some women that DID NOT love “wisdom”. This is a tough study in that it holds a mirror up for us to examine our behavior as a wife that perhaps has been less than godly in some areas.
What is Cold Love? – Matthew 24:10-13 – Love without commitment…that’s cold love. “Cold Love” does not make it to the end. (vs. 13)
COLD = not affectionate, not cordial, not friendly, unresponsive, a cold reply, lacking in passion, lacking in emotion, lacking in enthusiasm, LACKING SENSUAL DESIRE, failing to excite feeling or interest, unexcitable, DEPRESSING, lacking the warmth of life
Leader Reads: Rev. 3:15 – God wants us to commit to being hot or cold. We should also commit to our spouse as being hot or cold.
Leader Reads: 1 Peter 1:22 – Unfeigned Love = SINCERE, GENUINE, TRUE, NOT PRETEND
Every time you refuse to forgive or fail to overlook a weakness in another, your heart not only hardens toward them, it hardens toward God. You cannot form a negative opinion of someone (even if you think they deserve it) and allow that opinion to crystallize into an attitude. This will cause you to gradually become cool toward the things of God. 1 John 4:20 says, “The one who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.” Love is your only choice! (from book The Three Battlegrounds by Francis Frangipane). Read page 70 from her book – paragraph 3.
SOME BIBLE WOMEN THAT ARE BAD EXAMPLES…
Jezebel = controlling, idol worshipper, murderer, hates the anointing, head of the household, works to manipulate people and circumstances to bring favor for her husband, she will fast and pray but only for her own cause / not God’s Will, she threatens people, she dominates, she bosses others around, she seems religious because she feeds (takes care of or gives to) the prophets, she has an agenda, she is two faced, wants to force the will of God to come to pass – see 1 KINGS CHAPTERS 16 – 21 – Leader Reads – 1 Kings 21:1-16 AND 25 (Jezebel stirred up wickedness in her husband)
Potiphar’s Wife = It is thought that a women’s mouth and eyes are some of the most attractive parts to a man – keep yours focused on YOUR HUSBAND!
Potiphar's wife was seductive, covetous, liar, ignorant (or devilishly smart) about being alone with another man, persistent to be around another man that she was secretly attracted to, used her eyes to secretly seduce another man, she really doesn’t want the other man but she wants to see if she can get the other man, she wants to control the man, she is looking for love in all the wrong places – Leader Reads – Genesis 39:7-18
Zipporah (wife of Moses) = She was stubborn and angry. She was not happy about her husband being the spiritual leader. She thought her husband's ways were to hard (bloody). Although she was married to a man of God, she felt he was too spiritual and too involved – Leader Reads - EXODUS 4:24-26 (also see Chapters 2,3, and 4)
Delilah = She was deceptive; she had cold love; nag, unfaithful; she would whore & prostitute her love for “things”; she had love when she wanted to get something from Samson. She told the townspeople personal things that she should have kept quiet. She used sex as a weapon. She was dramatic. She whined and complained a lot. - Leader Reads - JUDGES 16:4-22
Michal (wife of David & Saul’s daughter) = She was embarrassed by her husband. She used hateful words toward her husband. She had a sarcastic “tone” in her voice. She hated his worship. She was jealous of the goodness that David gave to everyone else. She had a root of bitterness toward her husband. – 2 Samuel 6:14-23
Witch of Endor (King Saul’s psychic) = familiar (demon) spirit, trickery, manipulation, diviner, witchcraft, medium – 1 Samuel 28:5-25
Witch = a woman claiming or popularly believed to possess magical powers and practice sorcery
Soothsayer = one who acts covertly (concealed, disguised, secret), one who conceals their “real” thoughts, to cloud over the truth / see Acts 16:16
Manipulator = exerts shrewd or devious influence especially for one’s own advantage, to mange or influence skillfully in an unfair manner
Familiar Spirit = not the spirit of God, could be a demon spirit, a spirit that mimics angels or the Holy Spirit
Gomer (Hosea’s wife) = a whore, a prostitute, adulterous woman – Leader Reads - Hosea 1:2-3 & 3:1-5
Gomer represents people that do not honor their marriage covenant (with God or with man). This woman is always being led astray by other “things” or other “people” that take first place in her heart over her husband. (The husband meaning = God or your natural husband) Activities, children, chores, responsibilities, LIFE... all choke out the relationship that was meant to be pure and holy. Thus the relationship suffers and a COLD LOVE develops.
QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF…
1) Am I as passionate about my husband TODAY as I was when we first married? If not, how can I change my attitude and actions to re-gain the passion in our relationship?
2) Looking at myself from my husband’s perspective, do I have any of the attitudes, motives, and actions of any of the women discussed today? What will I do to recognize these behavior patterns in my everyday life, and then to turn from acting this way anymore?
3) Am I willing to apply God’s principles and ways to “MY” life so that the Lord can work through me to restore my marriage?
4) How will today’s study affect my prayer life?
5) Could it be that the man I am married to is (in part) a product of my own making?
PRAYER
Deborah Ross Ministries
P.O. Box 2186, Indian Trail, NC 28079
http://www.deborahrossministries.org/
http://www.deborahrossministries.blogspot.com/
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